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couple of random quiz results
which ulysses s. grant administration scandal are you?

result: whiskey ring
"you know that teamwork makes the dream work. in this case, the team is the white house chief of staff, a cabal of corrupt tax officials and missouri republicans, and whiskey distillers, and the dream is defrauding the IRS of millions of dollars worth of taxes. it's hard to imagine how such a disparate cast of characters was drawn together for a tax scheme, but you are a creative visionary. and also a felon."
take
which hamlet character do you kin?

result: laertes
"i genuinely admire you because you Get Shit Done. ur like 'if someone killed my father i'd leap to revenge immediately and send a giant peasant army roaring down the castle gates. rip to hamlet but im different' and i think that's neat. you're unique, fiery, determined, but perhaps not the most honest of people."
take
which of the CIA’s 638 failed attempts to kill fidel castro are you?

result: mafia hit
"several gangsters were recruited to go down to cuba and just straight up kill castro in a gangland execution. allegedly they turned the gig down on the account of it being fucking insane."
take
which retro horror movie trope

result: jock
"the physically strong guy that most of the times is either a jerk or a moron, dies very early."
take